11.. Finally, ...there once was a woman who sent ten puns to some friends
in hopes at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately no
pun in ten did.
They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-three students filing
into the already crowded auditorium. With rich maroon gowns
flowing and the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up
as they felt.
Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and moms freely
brushed away tears. This class would not pray during the
commencements ----- not by choice but because of a recent
court ruling prohibiting it.
The principal and several students were careful to stay within
the guidelines allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and
challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance and
no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.
The speeches were nice, but they were routine.......until the
final speech received a standing ovation. A solitary student
walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for
just a moment, and then, it happened. All 92 students, every
single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED!!!!
The student on stage simply looked at the audience and said,
"GOD BLESS YOU, each and every one of you!" And he walked
The audience exploded into applause. The graduating class
found a unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future
with or without the court's approval.
Isn't this a wonderful story? Pass it on to all your friends ...
and GOD BLESS YOU!!!!
On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Paquette, at your cervix."
At a Proctologist's door
"To expedite your visit please back in."
On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On a Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station,
"Thank heaven for little grills."
And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."